IS PRESENTING AN ARGUMENT A SIGN OF DISRESPECT?


LESSON LEARNED: argument

INTRODUCTION:
In logic and philosophy, an argument is a series of statements typically used to persuade someone of something or to present reasons for accepting a conclusion.

To Argue: to present reasons or facts in order to persuade someone of something

BODY OF THE ESSAY:
Funnily enough, some of us can not stand it when others present their reasons or facts that may be contrary to their own opinions, in a constructive effort to persuade them. Happens to me too, especially when am dealing with my kids smile emoticon Lol.

Some of us rather the Holy Spirit comes down himself to present those arguments; even if God intended to go through someone else to make them see the light.

Did you know that whether you are listening to the radio, watching a TV show, siting at Church listening to the Pastor, reading a book by an author; you are actually subjecting yourself to their opinions; thereby giving them an opportunity to present their arguments to you in order to persuade you or make you see things their way???

So when you don’t agree, why don’t you smash the TV, throw away the book and simply shut the Pastor up???

Instead, even though you don’t agree, you sit there nicely and listen.

Why is it that people in relationship, all of a sudden, can’t stand from their partners (mostly female partners) what they easily take from all others sources their entire life and all day long???

Is it that they feel that their partner is but a loyal subject that must subject themselves to their every opinion and desire???

Understandably, from time to time, people may need their partners to sit there and simply listen as though in front of a TV…cuz no one in their right mind talks back to the TV or the Pastor smile emoticon. But, let’s agree that your partner can’t just be the choir and you the Pastor, or the audience and you the TV host.

Typical traditional advice in couple counselling: “when your Partner/Master speaks, you must shut up and listen. Wait until he’s ready to listen to bring up the subject again. If then, he is still not ready, try another time. If he still doesn’t want to talk about it (eventhough he might have been wrong or it’s an important subject), then leave it alone. He will come to his senses by the power of the Holy Spirit. That’s what a good woman does to maintain peace in her marriage.”

Euh, really??? What about giving room for both parties to freely express themselves without the fear of steering up misplaced anger, or being labelled stubborn and argumentative?

And WHY DOES STATING YOUR OPINION A SIGN OF DISRESPECT? Why is it not a sign of disrespect when it’s never a good time to pay mind to your partner? Or IS RESPECT AN EXCLUSIVE THING, SOLE BENEFIT OF ONE PARTY?

Nowadays, even small children have the right to state their opinions and be heard without the fear of angering their parents. However, it is understandable that at times, parents expect children to simply abide by their decision without the need for an explanation. But that’s a Child-parent relationship.

CONCLUSION:
May I suggest that it is unrealistic to expect the same dynamic in a grown up relationship…unless one lives in the 18th century.

May I suggest that you forget “age old traditions or dogma” for a minute and do what is right by your partner, what is right for both of you, and not for just one person?

When it comes to communication, may I suggest that we give our partners (both sides) the same attention, patience and respect we give to the TV? Pleeeeaaase!!!!

PS (sarcastic me:): Apparently as a woman, trying to state why one is right is a capital sin…a big no no. My advice (wink-wink): simply throw your brain to the dogs and call it a day…
Did you think the days of “BE PRETTY AND SHUT UP” were over? Well, think again…my bad, don’t you dare thinking!!!

Well, I’ll shut up now…am probably starting to look pretty-ugly to some now…Still if my argument angered you…feel free to jump and…Mouaah

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Your name is Lukewarm Apathie


 

Take your claws off me
Allow me to breathe
I am the original man
I am the original matyr
Genocide started here
So of the mass crave I know

So they’ve chosen suicide bombing
And you’ve chosen suicide living
So they’ve chosen to fight for their survival
And you’ve chosen to wait for the next revival
Wrong or right, that is a life of conviction and purpose

You sit behind that laptop and watch me die
My flame extinguished by man-made diseases
Yet you’ve thrown your brains to the dogs and their owners
Waiting for manna from white houses heaven,
or the next episode of the KardaChiens
Neither moved by this or that

Yesterday it was aids
Today it’s ebola
All day it’s malaria
Yesterday it was Rwanda
Today it’s Burundi
All day it’s Cameroon

Shaka fought hard and lost
Sankara too lost that battle
They had courage and they cared as did Gadhafi for his own

But you…neither warm nor cold. Lukewarm is your name, so I, Africa, Ispit you out.
Take your claws of apathie off of me!

Written by Cj Yougang June 28 2015, Edited Dec 14 2015

Is It All Up for Sale?


love for sale1When people value money , it is quite hard to make them understand that not everything is up for sale.

Love, forgiveness, repentance, second chances, miracles, that fuzzy feeling… You just can’t put a value on those.

It’s quite funny how we are told in some churches that the more money we drop down, the better chances we have at having our prayers answered. When things work out, we convince ourselves that the content of our envelope had something to do with it.
But at times we forget that those gestures can be meaningless; in the sense that the amount we drop in the basket most definitely does not reflect the size of our sorries. It is indeed an easy way to buy ourselves out of guilt.

I’ve often wondered how God feels about those. I mean, wouldn’t HE feel like a prostitute whose love and services are being bought at the altar of self-righteousness without real repentance to accompany the gesture? What does HE make of the fat envelopes and the crocodile tears without meaningful resolution or lessons learned???
“Forgive me for I have sinned. Here is an envelope to show how sorry I am”
“Yes, you are indeed very sorry. Go my son, your sins are forgiven”
“Forgive me for I have sinned. See what I brought you this time”
“Do not worry. You sins are most certainly forgiven”
And onlookers look on and say “What a devout believer. See how sorry he is and how much faith he has.”

But is God a man that he should be deceived so easily?

So it is in some relationships; where people are easily deceived. Some dish out lots of gifts to get themselves out of trouble time without numbers. The more it is accepted, the more they are convinced that it works…and that it is righteous. They go on missing the point with no real intention nor desire for change.
Then again…but for God, who’s to say for sure?
That might be the only way they know to show love or say sorry…

‪#‎Cjsrandomthoughts‬

Does SANTA make sense in AFRICAN traditions?


Lol, allow me to laugh first before going further…hihihi

Every time we approach this season, I get a chuckle. It used to be excitement; but that was when I was much much younger.

I don’t know…When you have children that look forward to it the way my own do, it’s kind of hard to burst their bubble. When they talk of Santa, that Jolly old good fellow that is so celebrated every year…it’s a tradition or a ritual, shall we say in some parts of the world.
They say “when a lie is told and kept alive for over 40 years, it automatically becomes a truth”. I guess Santa does really exist😉
What amuses me, yet annoys me, is that this big fable has become and is sooo real that our whole lives revolve around it; and anyone that goes against the tide would be considered “crazy”. Don’t believe me? Try saying “I don’t believe in Santa” at work (if you live in N.A); and see the horrified looks you’ll get 🙂 Lol
So North American have sold this make-believe character to the whole world and we all bought it. We bought it and we happily consume it…screw anyone that dares to say different.
At times, it seems as though people prefer to live in a fantasy world where Santa exists, Jesus has blue eyes and all the angels are white (Wow, I can feel the darts on my back already…huuh huh missy don’t you even go there)
That’s fine and all…makes sense even, for caucasians. I mean if I had to paint an image of someone I’ve never seen or that I invented, it would make sense to paint him in my image.
But how do we justify this in other contexts? I’m curious to know how Christmas is celebrated in other parts of the world. Are Santa and his elves a part of it?
Do we figure he goes through non-existant chimneys to drop gifts in non-existant snow-like weather, under non-existant xmas trees?
Why are Africans always so eager to adopt traditions that make no sense in their context and lives? It’s great for others to create their warm and fuzzy bubble but why must we force our way into that bubble…only to start wondering why Santa didn’t make his way to our part of the world…(*0*)

Please, it’s fine for us to be fascinated by others’ cultures or to want to keep our children in the spirit of xmas…but let’s figure out what that spirit really embodies and sell that to them…and not its representatives.

It all seems fun and innocent until you speak to grown-ups that tell you nothing has ever come out of their continent…that it’s so cursed that even Santa won’t go there…ahahaahha, fudge!!!

Just saying…

‪#‎Cjsrandomthoughts‬

Written Dec 18 2015

Are we either good or bad in relationships?


Some people bring the best in you and others bring the worse.
Some people cause you to be soft as a woman or strong as a man; while others cause you to be harsh or inconsiderate.
Some people cause you to be generous and others to be stingy.
Sometimes it’s all about their approach; sometimes it’s solely about your mood of the day. And sometimes it’s just who you are.
Most people don’t start a relationship planning evil or planning the end. Sometimes what you bring out of each other makes it impossible for it to stick…like oil and water…each neither good nor bad…each can be good or bad.

It all depends!!! And that’s the way to always give it the benefit of the doubt.

‪#‎Cjsrandomthoughts‬

Priests can’t marry. Why not?


Watching tv…priest always celebrating weddings. I wonder what goes through their minds…as they make happen the forbidden for them time and time again…

Interestingly the C. Church is able to change laws to accept homosexuality among its priesthood (which is not accepted in the Bible, right or wrong); but can’t let them marry (which is commanded from Genesis to the writings of Paul)…especially knowing that their natural physical needs push them to turn to young boys or lead double lives!!!!!

I mean: what is up with that???

Imagine a world where priests and nuns were soo good and inspiring that everyone aspired to be like them…then what? We spend our lives in prayers, self denial, self flagellation; and total hypocrisy:). We would certainly not multiply as commanded and quickly become extinct:).

Oh well, forgive my really random thoughts.

‪#‎Cjsrandomthoughts‬

THE CWS Syndrom…


The mind is numb
The soul is burdened
The heart is bleeding
There are times in life…
When you stop and realize
That you are at a cross-road
Whether you turn left or right
Tears will flow…abondantly
Lives will be shattered…regrettably

CWS
Coulda…Woulda…Shoulda
Are the triplets sisters
The ones that will follow
Yeah, follow you home
wherever that is
For the rest of your life
The mind is numb
The soul is burdened
The heart is bleeding
Thank goodness we can turn to
Coulda…Woulda…Shoulda
For comfort and love always

Written by Cj Yougang
March 19 2014

#Cj'sWordstotheWise

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